Hunting

Given the overwhelmingly positive response to my first entry - and the uncertainty of internet access along the pilgrimage route (I really hope the camino de Santiago doesn´t have wi-fi yet...) - I´m going to waste no time in writing another. My uncle tells me that there are more blogs on the internet than human beings on planet Earth, and that 99% of those blogs are read by no one other than the author. So thank you for putting me in the top percentile of this elite group. And, seriously, I love the feedback (when it tells me how great I am).

This afternoon I took the ATM tour of Madrid. I saw close to twenty in under one hour. I know what you´re thinking. That´s a cursory tour at best. I really didn´t do each individual artist justice. That´s a fair criticism I suppose, but after a while they all sort of blend together. Call me an amateur, but, to me, a Caja Madrid looks an awful lot like a BBVA which in turn closely resembles a Santander. Here´s the other thing: there´s no guide book. Who dropped the ball there? Given all the ATM enthusiasts who visit Madrid, there has to be a market for a guide book and also a gift shop with other ATM merchandise. Here are the tips I´d include if I wrote such a guide:

1. If your ATM card´s PIN is longer than six digits, stop showing off and make it shorter. At least 50% of Madrid´s ATM population won´t recognize a PIN of such extreme length.
2. Know how much cash your American bank will allow you to withdraw in one transaction and/or one business day.
3. If you are experiencing difficulty in the withdrawl process (perhaps because your PIN is too long or because you ask for more money than Bank of America will permit you to withdraw...), do NOT try again, then again, and then try the next ATM and the one after that and so on until you´ve covered every inch of one square mile and visited nearly twenty ATMs. If you do this, Bank of America - suspecting that your card has fallen into the hands of a villain - will deactivate your card and freeze your account.

Aside from that, my day was pretty good. And in an odd way, the ATM hunt was gratifying because it was almost like actual hunting (ATM=money=food). ATM don´t move very quickly so it´s sort of Dick Cheney-style hunting. I had to get back to nature and provide for myself. For an hour or so, my basic evolutionary instincts dictated my every move. No room remained in my brain for the luxury of idle thought and daydream.

As much as I enjoy this jest (a lot!), I want to say in all seriousness that it gives me a wonderful sense of purpose to be completely occupied by something so meaningful as the procuring of food. I seem drawn to places - home, Haverford, Bishopswood, Eaglebrook, Kripalu (odds are you know me from one of these places) - where massive quantities of lovingly prepared food are simply placed before me, or straight into my hands if I´m in such a hurry that I can´t sit down. This is a weird thing. With the possible exception of royalty, this is not how human beings have lived for the vast majority of our evolutionary existence. In Madrid, I´ve gone from zero barriers to eating to at least three possible obstacles:

1. I run out of cash and can´t get more out of the ATM.
2. I miss a meal because I forget that they happen at different times here. (Lunch: 2-4, Dinner: sometime between 20:00 and dawn)
3. I can´t order due to language barriers. This almost happened today at the Magic Wok. The waitress and I tried to communicate in our shared second language. It didn´t work and they had to send over another waitress of superior Spanish skills (because clearly my Spanish wasn´t the problem, right? right?...)

In reality, I haven´t missed a meal yet, but it´s always sort of an adventure. And who knows what the hell ¨carne entreasada¨is going to be anyway?